It was 8:00 PM on a Monday in the middle of Ramadan in April. I was sitting with my friends in the bleachers of a massive stadium, overlooking a robotics competition comprising teams all over New York. “It’s time for Iftar!” Dawud said as he pulled out a plastic bag full of dates he had brought from home. Dawud was a senior at my high school who was staying for a fifth year as part of a program linking students to internships after graduation. Dawud, unlike many other Muslims I knew, was super enthusiastic about Islam. He would carry around copies of the Bible and the Quran and would often debate with Christian students and teachers about points from both books. He would also often reference points of Islamic history and ideology during debates in AP US Government and English. However, what stood out to me the most was how happy he seemed while talking about Islam.

 

Like many other Muslims, my parents made me take online Quran classes when I was younger. Growing up I’d have to go onto a Skype call daily while a teacher situated somewhere in Pakistan would screen share pages of the Quran. I’d have to read out the Arabic text on the screen and would get yelled at if I even slightly mispronounced the text. I’d also have to memorize entire pages and sections from the Quran in Arabic and would have to repeat them back to the teacher. After months of classes, I grew extremely frustrated with being constantly yelled at. At times I would cry because of how long I had been reading the same text repeatedly while the teacher would just get angrier with each wrong attempt. The passages I had to memorize were getting longer and more difficult. I never understood any of what I was reading or memorizing, as it was all in Arabic – a language I could never understand. I was learning to read the Quran, but I wasn’t learning to understand what any of it meant.

 

Returning to the moment, Dawud, my other Muslim teammates, and I all took a date from the plastic bag. Before eating, Dawud asked if anyone wanted to lead the prayer to break our fast. Wanting to impress my friends, I volunteered and recited the dua for Iftar out loud in Arabic. We all ate out dates afterward, joking about how they tasted better after winning the most recent match our team had been placed in. “I never learned to read the Arabic version of the Quran” Dawud commented in the middle of our celebration. This surprised me. Every Muslim child I knew had the same online Quran teacher experience I had, yet here Dawud was – being a better Muslim than any of us were without having read out loud any Arabic text in his life. I made the realization that this meant Dawud was so enthusiastic about Islam not because his parents forced him to be rather, he understood what the Quran meant through English translations and chose to make Islam a huge part of his identity and life.

 

Later in the week, I received a message from Dawud on Discord. It was a link to a YouTube video which was a Sheikh explaining how the commonly known and used dua for iftar was a “weakened version” as it was not the original dua that the prophet Muhammad (PBUH) had used when he broke his fasts. Up to that point, I had never known duas could be weakened and that what I was memorizing was established by prophets centuries ago. I scrolled down and found another video that piqued my interest which talked about the prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) pilgrimage to Meccah. I watched video after video and eventually, my YouTube recommended section became filled with Sheikhs explaining verses of the Quran and all sorts of aspects of Islam that I never knew about. I found myself watching any video I could from start to finish without skipping over any part. For the first time in my life, I was genuinely interested in learning about Islam and what it meant to be a Muslim.

 

It is now a Monday in the middle of September, and I still feel I’ve only made a small dent in how much there truly is to learn about Islam. I’ve come to realize that learning to mindlessly recite and memorize passages in Arabic and knowing what it means to be a Muslim through the Quran are two entirely different things. My talks with Dawud and YouTube videos of Sheikhs have paved a pathway, and it is up to me to continue this journey into learning about what it means to be a Muslim. As my time in high school has finally ended and I begin my transition into the real world through college I feel I can no longer live with such a huge part of my identity being a mystery to me. I want to learn more about Islam, and in these comingmonths, I will take every opportunity and effort I can to achieve that goal.

 

 

 

Ramadan – A month long fast where Muslims must fast from sunrise to sunset.

Dates – A sweet fruit used by Muslims to break their fast-during Ramadan

Dua – Referring to any section of the Quran used in prayers

Sheikh – A leader in a Muslim community

Iftar – The period after sunset in Ramadan where Muslim break their fast.

Muhammad (PBUH) – Muhammad (Peace be upon him) – The last prophet in Islam